Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Disheartened, Broken and Time full of Crisis..!!

Today at 1.10 am my Pisheymashai passed away. When I last posted about 7 days back from now, he was probably a little better. But Day to day he deteriorated and ultimately this Sunday was taken to ICU. He was on life support system and artificial respiration...peritoneal dialysis etc. Despite all the efforts of the doctors there and us the family members he left all of us.
I cant describe here how the days from 21st passed. I was crying sometimes or the other but was cautious not to be watched by someone. Actually my Pisheymashai despite all odds was a very jolly person who always had a smiling face. Sunday night at about 1.00 am when i was called by my uncle and informed that Pisheymashai is in ICU i was nervous tensed worried and i knew this means chances of his survival is reducing. That night whole of my family was awake and the next morning we all moved to Kolkata by hiring a car. When we reached the hospital and I and Papa visited the ICU room believe i couldn't stand there for more than 5 minutes as i couldn't see the condition he was in. He was fully controlled and supported my machines. I was terribly sad tears rolled down my eyes and stopped. Now today nearly at 1.00 am we were informed by Hospital staffs that he's in very critical condition. At 1.10am they told us that he has passed away. My papa being so strong broke down to tears so did Mom. I was holding mine and still holding as I am supporting my family and telling them not behave likewise and if i suddenly broke to tears who will be a support to them ? I m crying now and should stop writing now !! I have many jobs pending now mainly that of Final Sem project, Learning Python and Accessories , A LTSP implementation course or classes which we have to take at Kolkata.........all these but My life is at sudden stand still now. I don't know what to do , when to do ? I think papa will move to Kolkata today and i will be here with Mom. I don't know how to manage my Aunt in this terrible conditions. Lets Hope GOD helps us to overcome this situation.
Talking about GOD he didn't listen to me despite my prayers everyday. I don't know why but my faith, believe, respect in GOD has received a major shock after this incident today. Miracles do Occur but to whom I don't know...I did hope a miracle to occur and so Prayed to GOD daily but miracle didn't happen. So now I find that if its in fate nobody can change it xcept GOD, but he didn't change ours .......... !!

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